Becoming Your Own Guru

There’s a quiet power in the language of reparenting, the language of healing, and the journey of becoming your own guru.

For me, this means slowly learning to trust what arises within, your instincts, your gut, your inner knowing. It also means noticing when and how you give that power away.

We often hand our authority to people, places, or things that we’ve unconsciously placed on pedestals. When we elevate others to unreachable heights, we keep ourselves small. The paradox is that as long as we pedestalize, we remain beneath.

A path toward freedom begins with curiosity. What is it that I see in this person, this god, this teacher, or this creature? What aspect of me is being reflected back, perhaps underdeveloped, perhaps ignored, perhaps hidden? What if what I admire in others is simply a version of me waiting to be seen?

Our shadows often contain the same qualities we praise in others. Within them may rest the inner guru, the part of us that already knows, already sees, already leads. The shadow doesn’t just hold what we dislike. It holds our greatest potential. Through others, we meet pieces of ourselves waiting to be integrated.

Every moment is an opportunity to learn about yourself, in the grocery store line, in conversation, in silence, in play, in avoidance, in effort, in stillness. When we start to see life this way, everything becomes a mirror. The rose, the weed, the mud, the light, all reflections inviting us to discover more of who we are.

As this awareness grows, you begin to connect with who you truly might be. You water the seeds of self-awareness, and over time, you begin to harvest self-trust. That is how you become your own guru.

This doesn’t mean rejecting external teachers, mentors, or environments that inspire you. Both can exist, the inner and the outer. The outer guides can awaken something inside. The key is not to attach to them but to see yourself through them.

When you pedestalize or diminish someone, you’re caught in attachment, to a story, to a projection. When you meet them through connection, you’re in presence. You no longer need to change them, because you see the interaction as a mirror of your own learning.

Over time, this perspective expands into a deep humility:
I will never truly know another, not my partner, my parent, my child, or my teacher. I will only ever know my experience of them.

When we understand that our perceptions, past, and stories create our reality, we touch freedom. We start to release others from our expectations and ourselves from their pedestals.

So this week, notice what you see in others as reflections of yourself, the beautiful, the uncomfortable, the hidden. Invite projections, both ways. Ask others how they experience you, what gifts and challenges they see. Each reflection holds insight into the parts of you that are still forming.

This is the art of finding your own inner guru.
It has always been there.
And maybe, that’s true.

Talk soon, friends.

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