Embracing Judgment: A Path to Self-Realization

Hello friends,

Let’s take a moment to dive into a topic that we often shy away from—judgment. Cognitive psychology teaches us that judgment is a crucial part of how we reason, make decisions, and form beliefs. It's how we navigate life, evaluating information and making choices that shape our reality. Yet, in the world of self-work, many of us tend to judge judgments themselves, often denying that we judge at all. 🌍

But here’s the truth: every human being judges. We judge things as good or bad, pretty or ugly, safe or dangerous. We judge when to cross the street, when to speak up, and when to stay silent. We judge our values, the values of others, and perhaps most importantly, we judge ourselves. This is not just a surface-level activity; it’s a fundamental part of how we operate in the world.

I invite you to consider: Do you take note of your judgments? 🩻

There’s no real difference between judging something as beautiful or as ugly—they are simply our projections onto the world, giving us a sense of control. These judgments, while fleeting, influence how we perceive reality. Remember when you judged someone as amazing, only to feel differently later? Or when you woke up feeling extraordinary and later judged yourself as not so much?

These shifting judgments are elusive at best. 🎪

Judgments, at their core, are unconscious projections of our values onto the world. They give us a sense of security and control, helping us navigate our lives. However, when we deny that we judge, we’re merely masking aspects of our shadow, pushing them deeper into the recesses of our unconscious. This denial doesn’t serve us; it only perpetuates the cycle of fear and shame.

So, what if you could embrace that a part of you judges? 🥂

Take a moment. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and acknowledge that a part of you judges. How does that feel in your body? Now, try the same experiment with the phrase, "I don’t judge." Notice the difference in sensation.

From my perspective, embracing the truth of who we are—including our judgmental parts—is essential to inviting new experiences and ways of being. Denying any aspect of ourselves often leads to deeper self-identified shame. By saying, "I don’t judge," you’re cutting off a part of yourself, creating further separation. This separation has been with us since childhood, from the moment we learned to hide parts of ourselves to fit in or survive—what some might call a form of "soul death." 💀

This "soul death" is a significant contributor to the pain, trauma, and challenges we face—be it body image issues, relationship struggles, or even global challenges. And yes, it also breeds more judgment. 🔭

So, how can we shift this? How can our relationship with judgment either free us to greater self-realization or imprison us in a deeper loss of self? Judgment can be seen as a non-truth that, paradoxically, guides us back to our truth. But it can also blind us—either through darkness or an overwhelming light.

The middle way—embracing judgment without letting it dominate—allows us to create a healthy relationship with this aspect of ourselves. This balance fosters humility rather than arrogance. 🌱

Next time you catch yourself judging, notice it for what it is and invite curiosity. How does this judgment serve you? What might be the light side of this judgment? Judgment, after all, is a decision-making tool. It helps us with the simple things, like when to cross the street, and the complex ones, like whom to trust or spend time with.

It helps us define healthy boundaries and come into balance within ourselves. Where might you be too rigid and need to relax? Where are you too loose and might benefit from more structure? Judgment is a way to cultivate inner knowing, to motivate and guide ourselves as we navigate life.

So, friends, I wonder how you’ll judge the above and how you might use judgment to serve you in your journey.

Until next time friend,

May you stay curious. ✨

Jator

Questions for Reflection:

1. How can your relationship with your own judgments either free you through self-realization or imprison you in self-loss?

2. What if your judgments are creating cages that lock you into old stories and values?

3. How might your judgments of others be limiting them based on past experiences?

4. How can curiosity about your judgments help you define healthier boundaries in your relationships?

5. In what ways does judgment help you maintain a sense of self?